Consciousness Series

Who's Responsible for me? (December 2012)


Brotherhood
The clanging of keys against the rusted bars intruded Nahil’s dreams. He opened his eyes and Mr. Stuthers stood at the cell entrance.
“You coming out today Nee-Hill,” brown goop oozed out of the sides of Mr. Stuthers’ mouth as he taunted Nahil.

“It’s always the same story with you kids. My da daddy be beat me.Then you foolish children take your brother or sister and run away" Mr. Stuthers chuckled.

Nahil remained lying on his cot staring at the ceiling, one hand cocked underneath his head and the other resting across his chest.

“My daddy didn’t beat me.” Nahil stated in a flat monotonous voice.

“Oh, Oh, Oh, so so daddy didn’t hit Nee-Hill, huh, so so he he probably had his wa way with pretty angelic Ma Ma Mariah.” studdered Mr. Stuthers.

Nahil darted his eyes over to the cell gate where Mr. Stuthers stood.

“That got your attention. Big brother can’t always be there to save pretty little Mariah,” spit splattered across the cell and Mr. Stuthers contniued to taunt Nahil.

“I’ll be back and you you you betta you betta be ready.” Mr. Stuthers stepped out of the cell and slammed the gate behind him. He stomped down the brick hall, his keys jingled ferociously with every step.

Nahil heard the pecking of Mariah on the corner stone. He pulled the stone from the wall and pulled her through the tiny opening.

“Did you sleep, Ry?” Nahil asked his kid sister. Deep burgundy bruised circles formed around her honey almond shaped eyes. Her soft skin cracked from the cold.

“Ry, I’m gonna get us out of here,” Nahil said to keep Mariah hopeful.

"Like you always do," Mariah muttered, too much time had passed. Mariah was drained of hope. She dragged her body to the edge of the cot. Nahil untangled the locks of her brown hair and braided it into two thick plats. He reached for his half eaten sandwich and fed the remains to her. When Mariah was done eating she slithered through the hole they made and went back to her cell.

“Where you going?” Nahil asked, but Mariah had already disappeared.

Nahil began searching his surroundings trying to find a way out until he heard Mr. Stuthers’ keys clinking toward his cell. The footsteps were quicker and it sounded like Mr. Stuthers brought company.

“Nee-hill, I’m back to get you.” Mr. Stuthers said as he fumbled to unlock the gate. There were two 6ft 2in, dingy, bulky men standing behind him. Nahil remained on his cot; he searched the cell for something to use as a weapon.

“Nee-hill, ge get up.” Mr. Stuthers demanded. The violence in Mr. Stuther's command jolted Nahil making him sit upright on the cot.

“Like this, Mr. Stuthers?” Nahil asked.

“Oh Oh fffunny. Ge ge get him.” Mr. Stuthers sent his back up inside the cell. They each grabbed one of Nahil’s arms and stood him up. Nahil didn’t resist. He stood tall almost the same height as the back up men.

“Br bring him to the gg gg gallery.” Mr. Stuthers began leading the men down the hall into the gallery. Nahil walked behind Mr. Stuthers and in front of the bulky, back up men.
    When they got to the gallery, there were about fifty people sitting in the form of a circle. They whispered to each other and snickered when they walked through the doors.

“Take him to to the dressing room.”

In the dressing room there were two wooden chairs, a porcelain toilet and a bucket of water. One of the chairs had a pair of black shorts on it.

“Change into those shorts,” one of the back up men grumbled.

They watched Nahil change his clothes then pushed him back through the gallery doors. This time the crowd was smiling. He noticed a coal pot big enough to fit a whole hog. The pot sat on a blue blazing fire, bubbling over with water. Above the pot hanging from the chains suspended from the ceiling was a young boy no older than Mariah. The boy looked as though he was unconscious, just the flicker of his eyes showed he was still alive.

Nahil continued to look around the gallery in disbelief. On the other side of the gallery, boiling over was another coal pot with Mariah hanging from chains above it.

At the sight of the children, Nahil dropped to his knees. He pleaded for Mariah to be released, but Mr. Stuthers laughed. The more Nahil begged the louder Mr. Stuthers’ laugh grew. The crowd began to join in. Laughing at Nahil’s plea.

“This is how this works Nee-hill.” Stuthers began explaining. “You see that young strapped boy over there. Well he’s been through this a few times. And it seems as though he loves that little brother so much that he will beat the brains out of any stranger boy like you to keep his little brother alive.” Stuthers pointed at the little boy hanging from the ceiling.

“Hh how mu much dd ddo you love Mariah, Nee-Hill?”

Stuthers motioned for the back up men to bring the boys to the center of the ring. Nahil straightened up, tightened his face, forgot about the pleading, and looked at Mariah chained above the coal pot.

“Okay ladies and gentlemen, I know we are all familiar with the rules of the game but jj just in ca case you forgot. Each boy is responsible for a life. Th The winner ss ssaves the life of his baby sibling. The loser will watch his sibling boil and burn until the flesh melts into a human stew.” Stuthers smiled his filthy slimy smile and waddled to his seat.  

The two young men stood in front of each other in the center of the ring. Nahil’s heart pounded. He knew the other kid could see the throbs beating through his chest. Sweat ran down his forehead and burned his eyes. His opponent stood grounded. He had scars tattooed across his cheek. His breathing was calm, his body was relaxed. His eyes never strayed from Nahil.

Ding. The song of a bell rang.

Nahil runs full speed toward his opponent screaming. The kid steps to the side and pushes Nahil down to the floor. Nahil tumbles to the ground and rolls.  He strikes Nahil with a swift kick to the abdomen. Nahil flails on the floor causing his opponent to step back. Nahil staggers to his feet. He takes in a deep breath, breathing slowly, in and out. Nahil tags him with a right hand, then hits him with a left punch to his face, holding nothing back, Nahil rapidly kicks him in his chest. His opponent’s body caves. He stumbles to the ground. Nahil continues to jab.

Left hand, right hand. Nahil is winning.

The crowd cheers. Nahil glances over to Mariah. Her eyes flicker. His opponent grapples to his knees and tackles Nahil. He straddles Nahil and hits him with a left punch in his face. Nahil fights to cover his face. His opponent stands to stomp Nahil. Nahil wraps his legs around his opponent’s waist. The opponent resisting the force pulling him to his knees and catches Nahil with punch after punch connecting with Nahil’s face each time. Blood flows from Nahil’s eyes, nose, and mouth. He can’t stop. Jab after jab. Blood pastes his oppenent's hands. 

The pulley suspending Mariah begins to lower her body toward the boiling water. With each clink of the chains, Nahil begins to feel suffocated. His sight is blurred from punches, but the clanks of the pulley echoes in his ear.

As the tips of Mariah’s toes is scorched by the water, she wails. The pulley continues to lower her body. The stench of flesh fills the gallery. Mariah shrieks one last time and then there’s an instant silence.

Nahil’s opponent drops to his knees. Another pulley changes direction and releases at a faster rate, sounds like a zipper. The opponent familiar with the sound races to his brother as he is released from the chains. They cling to each other.

“Pp Ppoor Nee-Hill.” Mr Stuthers leans over Nahil’s bloody body, saliva dripping from his mouth onto Nahil’s mangled face. “You you loved your sister to death.” Mr. Stuthers hollered a deafening laugh. He continued to shout laughter strutting out of the gallery. The exaggerated gloating rang in Nahil’s ears until Mr. Stuthers was far gone.



Who gets to Decide? (September 2012)


Fluster

It was only September and every essence of summer was gone.  The teenagers stayed outside, holding on to their summer bonding sessions, but I couldn’t stay out anymore. As I walked into the house, my cellphone rang. Shari was on the other end. She said she was walking to my way and wanted to know if I could come outside. My mind was already set to stay in so I decided to invite her to come over.  When Shari got to my house her cheeks were rosy, her eyes were glossy and she was shivering. I knew something was wrong so I told my mom we were going upstairs. Before we could make it up to my room, Shari began to blurt sounds like, “I…can…this chick.” I had no idea what she was trying to tell me.
“So let me tell you what happened to me." Shari was jittery. "My foolish behind wanted to see Shawn, you know, my boyfriend. So I called him up and told him how much I missed him. I said about a hundred I love yous and I can't wait to see yous." Shari prattled on. So Shawn was actin' all shady, 'tryin to act like he didn't want me to come over. But girl, I just had to see him. I was thinking about him all day. He didn't call me, text me...I saw he changed his status on Facebook like twice, so I know he was on his phone. So silly me – I decide to call him and practically beg for him to want to see me." Shari grew more frustrated. "Finally he told me to come over. I got all dressed up. I figured he would like to see me in my ripped jeans, a tank and my matching jacket. huh.. I was so wrong. You know he…no no I’ll get back to that.” Shari was all over the place with her story.
“So, I waited at the bus stop for twenty minutes before I decided to start walking toward the next bus stop.” Shari shook her head with each sentence. “Just as I started walking, the bus zoomed past me. I banged on the sides." Shari started banging on my window to reenact how she tried to get the bus driver's attention. "...but my efforts were hopeless. The stupid bus wouldn't stop. I was so cold the tips of my fingers tingled a little. I was so so cold - couldn’t wait to have Shawn cradle my chilling body.  I walked another three miles and finally I approached his brick building.” Shari began to pace the room, replaying how she approached the brick building, and then she stopped to gaze out my bedroom window again.
“I saw a crowd of people sitting around on the benches in the back of his building. I figured that was where I would find Shawn. I fixed my clothes and brushed my hands through my hair to tame the wild strands of hair blown around by the wind. When I walked through the gates I saw Shawn leaning on the building talking to the crowd of people sitting on the bench. And – BAM, there she was. Could you believe it; right there in front of me.” Shari slammed her hand on the bed. I just watched her as she paced, paused, and became more and more agitated.
“I couldn’t believe he had the gumption to have her there, knowing I was on my way. She stood so close to Shawn; every time he moved his hand to add some type of animation to the conversation, he would brush the flaps of her coat." Shari's voice softened. “Her hair was black with a hint of honey brown highlights. She wore it bone straight with just a single curl bumped at the end. She’s my complexion.” Shari touched her face. “Her eyes are almond just like mine. She might be just a smidge shorter than me. I stood in the shadow watching the scene play out. Occasionally, Shawn looked at her as if to include her in the conversation, but when their stares connected he would shy away and change his focus. I walked slowly toward the crowd; I know he saw me approaching, but he never smiled to greet me or walked my way to offer warmth.” Shari hesitated.
“Girl, I saw him briefly grab her finger and then maybe he remembered me or something because he instantly released it. She looked at him and they locked stares having some silent telepathic conversation that I couldn’t access.” Shari became frustrated and stood up again. “What were they saying?” Shari grew louder. “What the heck were they saying?” Tears streamed down Shari’s sad face. “Why…why couldn’t I understand? The only person who acknowledged me was Shawn’s friend, Jerry. Jerry gestured for me to come over. I looked to Shawn for a response; however, he kept his focus on the guys in front of him, but I could tell his thoughts were distant. I glanced at the girl who now was about a foot away from Shawn. Everyone else seemed to continue the conversation as if there was nothing awkward about this girl standing there with my boyfriend. The girl pulled her long black hair into a ponytail and buttoned her coat. She checked her watch and began to say her goodbyes to my friends.” Shari shouted to emphasize the fact that they were her friends. “Shawn remained silent while the girl gave her last goodbye hugs. She stopped in front of Shawn; he reached out to hug her. The hug lasted less then a millisecond but the connection seemed like it was everlasting. She looked deep into his eyes and said goodnight. She began walking toward the fence, in my direction, and for a brief moment I thought he was going to follow her.  I froze, thinking about what I would say when she acknowledged me. She got closer, I darted my eyes from her to Shawn then back to her. My palms started to sweat. Then, at the moment when we were close enough to greet each other, I cleared my throat and...and she walked right past me. I was invisible.
*     *       *       *       *      *      *      *     *       *       *       *        *       *       
  I had to get out of there as quickly as possible and get home before 11 o’clock. I said my goodbye and headed for the gate. Shawn's girl was walking towards the crowd as I was leaving. She kept looking at me, but I was so excited I couldn't even think about what she was doing there. I hopped in my black Honda and called Maria as I drove home.  “MARIA,” I screamed. “You won’t believe where I just came from.”                                                    
“Let me guess, you were with Shawn.” Maria said sarcastically.                                                        
“Wait, how you know I wasn’t wit Bobby?”                                                                         
“‘Cause you don’t get that excite over Bobby even though he’s your boyfriend.” I chuckled and continued to tell her about my night.
“Girl he’s – he’s just so beautiful. I mean like I’m so in love with this dude. We were outside his building, my fingers were turning purple and my ears were burning from the cold, but I was blazing inside. I wish I could’ve stayed with him the whole night. Even if it was just to hear him talk to his boys all night.” I picture Shawn and I again staring into each other’s eyes.  “Maria, I don’t know what it is about this dude. When we look at each other I go into this trance. My heart races, the air is sucked out of me and I’m lightheaded.” I unconsciously started to speed through the green lights. “His eyes are so small, when he smiles they fade into his laughter. It’s so funny,” I laughed. “His hands are so soft, and full and, get this; his nails are trimmed and clean.” I looked at my own hands remembering when he clenched my finger.
            “I wish we could have been alone, but I couldn’t muster the courage to ask him to go for a ride with me.” My heart started to race as I imagined myself asking Shawn to be alone with me. I see this dude like twice a year; when we’re together I get so nervous. I have so much that I want to say to him, but in the moment his presence is so overwhelming that I’m stuck in this place; I’m excited to be with him but at the same time I’m so nervous that I want to leave. I lose control when we’re together. I try to be strong and not let him see how crazy in love with him I am, but I know my intense stares and hesitations gives me up."
Maria cut me off. “Girl, why don’t you just tell him how you feel? It’s been years now. You gonna wait ‘til you’re 23 and he’s off living another life with someone else.” Maria’s reality check shocked me. I tensed at the thought of Shawn and I not being able to have those impromptu moments of happiness.  “Why don’t you start planning for your 2012 New Years resolution now? How about you say between now and January you come up with a plan to tell Shawn how you feel?” Maria pushed.                                       
 “I can’t do that, Maria. What if he doesn’t want me?” I wondered.                                                                               
 “You know, your wrong. Shawn clearly has some type of something for you.”                                  
 “What’s ‘some type of something’? What if that something isn’t love? Shawn…” I paused. “Shawn doesn’t want me Maria. He has someone else. Something about me just ain't his type. I’m only good enough for these cameos that we have. Then I’m gone and he returns to his girl.” I continued. “I wonder if I had those little bonuses that other girls have like dimples or something – maybe he’d be more attracted to me. “You should just tell him how you feel,” Maria suggested.                                                                                 
 “No, I can’t. He’s not interested.” I pulled into my driveway. “Maria, I’m about to head in the house.” I said goodbye and sat in the car. Looked up to the sky and searched for a star. I thought about making a wish, but the sentiment would be in vain. Shawn and I could never be together. 

                                 *        *        *        *         *         *           *           *        

Shari asked me to walk her home, but I opted out. Instead I told her to call me when she got there. I walked her to the bus stop and watched her walk to the back corner seat of the bus.  I should have gone with her, but I wasn’t in the mood. She agitated me. Once the bus pulled off, I walked back to my building searching the streets for black Hondas.
I put my playlist on Rockers and checked my call log for missed calls. No calls. When I got to my apartment, I sat in the living for a bit. My mom was on the phone; I waited for her to tell me some girl called for me. She never did. Then, I went to my room. I searched my wall of pictures for memories. I saw Shari. She sat on the hood of her sister’s car with sunglasses and a sexy smile. Her hair was pulled back into a bun.  Her features were perfect. Nice brown skin, smooth, no pimples and scars on her face. I continued scanning the wall and saw a photo booth picture of Shari and I. Her head rested on my shoulder. I looked into the camera with my head cocked to the side -my gangsta style.
A stream of light from the moon began to appear on the picture, which pulled my attention away.  I spotted the brightest star, assumed it was the one that caused wishing to happen.  I thought about it for a sec then lay in my bed, remembering when Regina called earlier. I was embarrassed when I started to stutter. She asked when I was planning on seeing her again; I wasn’t sure if we should see each other today or should I plan a time for us to be alone. Shari was coming by plus the guys wanted to chill. I wanted to be alone with her. I wrote a letter to her and I wanted to read it to her in person. She said she was leaving town tomorrow morning; her flight was at 8:20. Today would have been my only chance.  I invited her to come hang out with me before Shari got there. I had it all planned out. I was going take her with me to hang for half an hour then I’d ask her to go for a walk so that I could read the letter to her before Shari came. My timing was off. My boys talked for too long and Shari showed up early. When Shari showed up Regina had to leave. I wanted to hand her the letter so she could read it on the plane, but Shari wouldn’t take her eyes off of us.
I can’t believe I was such a punk. They both stood there; I actually wanted to run, but Regina seemed like it didn’t even faze her. What a sight. Shari and Regina standing only feet away from one another. I wanted to leave with Regina, but my conscience told me to stay.
My cellphone began to vibrate. I searched the bed and saw I missed a call from Shari. I looked at the name, hoping to feel a sense of remorse for my infidel thoughts. Nothing stirred. I grabbed my wallet and flipped through my pictures. I took the graduation picture of Regina out of the side pocket and taped it to my wall. Lying in my bed, I fell asleep admiring Regina’s childlike smirk, piercing stare and her letter tucked under my pillow.



Who's the Provider (July 2012)

Sole Provider


I swiped my hand across the walls, trying to feel my way through the dark living room and down to the basement. I did my usual tip toe down the stairs and quietly slid into the basement bathroom. I turned the faucet just enough for a stream of water to flow, but not enough for the sounds of water to be heard upstairs. I dipped my washcloth in the pool of water and washed the disgust of the night away.  I grabbed my workout clothes from the laundry room just as the 6am alarm reminded me to head up to the kitchen. I grabbed the ready made waffle mix from the refrigerator and swiveled some eggs. The pans were already lined on the stove top, just a spritz of Pam, and breakfast was in the making.  Just as the waffles turned from pale to golden, I heard the pattering feet of twin toddlers running down the hallway.
 “Mommeeee, Jenille peed on my forehead,” Toni screamed from upstairs.
“On your forehead? Ha. Her aim is getting better, dontcha think?” I teased my daughter. “Marcus, can you clean Jenille and bring her down for breakfast," I always requested that my husband, Marcus, do the face washing task. I waited for his usual, “Yes, dear,” but there was no response.
"Marcus, are you up?" I yelled out to him again.
"I heard you Sophie." He replies, disgruntled. I ignored his attitude and pretended everything was fine.
"Toni wash off and come eat. Mommy made waffles.” I sang upstairs.
I served everyone Mickey Mouse waffles, scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese and orange juice. We sat at the table and Jenille said her usual morning grace.
"Thank you, thank you Lord for Mommy. We would starve without her," when she was done we all said "Amen" in unison.
"So, what time did you get in Sophie?" my husband asked with a silly grin. His grin gave the impression that he was joking but his tone was very serious.
"I got in really late, maybe 2am or so - yup it was about then, my sisters wanted to stay out and parade the town some." I looked away at the clock pretending to try to calculate how long I had been home.
"What is this? The third night this week and...," he paused, "but you never came upstairs," he kept probing.
"I didn't want to wake you, Marcus, so I stayed downstairs. I even woke up super early for a quick run." I answered.
Toni and Jenille were eating their eggs, but Marcus focused his stare on me. He was waiting for me to flinch or sweat, but I was calm.
"Toni bear and Jenny pooh, guess what mommy bought you." I changed the attention from me to the girls. They started to squeal.
"What mommy? what did you get us?" Jenille asked.
"Oh, I'm not telling. After breakfast we can all go upstairs and see the surprise."
"Daddy, what is it," Toni jumped from her chair and begged her dad to give up the secret.
"I don't know, Toni, seems like Mommy has a lot of surprises lately." Marcus smiled as he answered Toni, but he kept his eyes on me.
"Need help with the dishes, Sophie," Marcus asked sarcastically.
"No, I'll do them once you take off for work." I responded as I picked the girls up and started walking up the stairs. Marcus went to the bedroom to get dressed. I snatched the twins before they tried to snuggle back into their beds. I prepped one for brushing her teeth while dunking the other into her bath water. Then I wrapped the towel around Jenille and made her and Toni switch tasks.  When they were down splashing bath water and dripping tooth paste all over the floor, I looped them both under each arm and shuffled to their bedroom to get them dressed.
"Mommy don't forget the surprise." Jenille reminded me.
"Oh, mommy won't forget." I winked my eye at the girls and ran to my room. I pulled the Apple bag out from the bottom of my closet and headed to the girls' room.
"Look pooh bears, look what I got." I pulled the iPads out of the bag and shook them in my hands.
"iPads!" Toni screamed, "Can we play games on them?"
"Did I hear you say two iPads," Marcus yelled from the bedroom.
"Yea, iPads. If my sister's spoiled brat can have one, our girls can have them too..." Just as I was about to go in deep on how much our girls deserved nice things, the 8:45 alarm reminded us that we were running late.  Marcus stepped into the hallway. He paced a bit, but chose to walk down the stairs. I followed his lead, escorting the girls to the front door.
"Oh I forgot to tell you, Sophie, I took a personal day today. When I get home from dropping the girls off you better have a good explanation as to how you can afford two iPads on a house wife's salary." He cleared his throat and stepped off the porch. I began to get a little nervous because Marcus never threatened me before. When he was far down the street with the children, I ran back to the basement opened my silver purse where I stuffed my dress. I looked in the pockets, took out the thousand dollars from last night and stuck it in a pair of old shoes in the laundry room. Then I tossed the dress along with Jenille’s wet sheets in the washing machine. I headed to my bedroom for a hot bath in my newly renovated master bathroom. The sparkle of the brand new Cabos mosaic tile, fresh lavender paint, and the oak wood double vanity made the long nights worth it.
Ding, Dong. The bell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Who could be at the door? As I walked back down to see who was at the front door, I checked the family calendar to see if we were expecting any visitors. Nothing was marked on the calendar. Through the peephole, I could see two men with blues jeans, Boston Red Sox jerseys and sunglasses.
“Yes, can I help you?” I yelled through the door.
“Yes, good morning miss. It’s Boston Police. We have just a few questions.” The officer said as he vigorously chewed on his gum. My heart started to race. I instantly began to sweat. I was gasping for air. I shook the jitters out of my hands while taking some deep breaths.
“Miss, are you there,” the other police officer asked.
“Yes, I’m here. One Sec,” I patted the sweat off my forehead with the sleeves of my shirt. As I unlocked the door, I noticed my hands were still jittery.
“Hi, can I help you.” I asked the police officers as I stood in the doorway. I made my face and body visible, but I continued to hide my hands behind the door.
“Yes, miss…” suddenly the police officer kicked the door open. The force made me stumble backwards. One of the officers grabbed me by the pony tail and dragged me to the living room.  His partner rushed in behind us; he looked up and down the street quickly then closed the door.
“So, you think you’re smarter than us, huh? Nasty no good slut of a house wife.” The police officer said, spitting in my face with every word.  His voice sounded familiar. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth to stay calm. I needed to focus. Where have I heard this voice before? Oh, no. Last night.
"Where's my money," the police officer asked.
"What money," I said in a steady tone.
"Oh, you think we're here to play games. Where's the money you took from me?" He slapped me across the right side of my face. Blood filled my mouth. I spat the blood onto the floor. Just as I began to climb to my feet, the other officer kicked me in my stomach. More blood gushed out of my mouth onto the floor.
"Where's the money, Honey.  Your name is Honey - right?" The officer chuckled. He was just as calm as I was. He pulled my hair back and stepped on my back as I laid with my stomach to the ground. The other officer started to throw my crystal collection across the room. I saw my swan crystal crash to the floor. When he broke all the crystals, he began dropping the vases.
"Toss me one of those lamps". The gum poppin' officer hollered. He caught the lamp and stood on top of the coffee table. He lifted the lamp above his head and with all his might he slammed the lamp over my head.
"Sophie," I faintly heard someone yell in the background.
"Marcus," I whispered. A gunshot rang out and Marcus dropped to the floor. He laid in front of me. I was frozen - couldn't breathe. Tears blurred my sight.
"Marcus," I struggled to say his name.
"Honey, is this your husband," the officer asked as another shot rang out. I saw Marcus's body jolt. Another shot and another. Marcus's blood began to form pools on the floor. I felt the heat of it on my cheek. I belted out a soundless scream. My voice was lost.  My cheeks twitched.
"Let's go. We gotta go." the officer pulled his buddy away and they ran out the back door. I crawled toward Marcus.
"Help!" I scream as loud as I could. "Help!" I gagged and vomited on Marcus's body. "No, no, no." I begged. "Help!" I belted out an unfamiliar cry. No one came. I reached for Marcus's hand. He uttered in a faint breath, almost as if to scold me, "You shoulda stayed home last night."

Who's Worth Your Soul (June 2012)

Saving Our Souls
Part 1


Ellen Maye was exhausted. Sitting in the interrogation room for eleven hours numbed the lower half of her body.
            “Sooo, Miss, I’m going to ask you just one more time, Why would a sixty-one year old woman camp out at Le Galion beach for three days? Saint Maarten has several beautiful resorts where you would be most comfortable.”
            “I don’t want resorts. I wanted to meet you.”
            “Stop saying that and tell me where the six missing tourists, who were last seen talking to you on the beach, have disappeared to.”
            She stared deeply into the officer’s eyes and faintly whispered,
            “I said it once and I’ll say it a hundred more times. I have been waiting for you and that’s all there is to it.”
            He locked stares with Ellen Maye, searching for the truth. Then suddenly, for a split second the officer saw Ellen Maye’s once brown eyes change to a soft blue. He blinked and looked back at her to affirm that what he saw was real, but her weary eyes had already turned back to its original color.
            “What just happened?” the officer asked, as he jumped from his chair.
            Ellen Maye smiled and said, “Sir, I just want us to go home.”
            “Come on, do it again,” he said. She looked at him blankly, this time with pain in her voice and said,
            “Sir, I just want us to go home.”
            The officer walked towards the door confused and said,            
            “Sit tight, Ellen Maye, I’ll be right back.”
            After fifteen minutes of waiting, Ellen Maye’s thoughts began to wonder. She drifted back to her twenty-sixth birthday. She remembered visiting Maine and ice-skating on Hogan’s Pond near her hometown. The blue ice stretched to the horizon, fading into the blinding rays of another waning winter sun. In the midst of her daydream, she could hear the ice cracking. She instinctively glanced down, looking for cracks under the transparent sheen. She shivered violently as the shifting mass groaned under her feet. A sparkling blue creature broke through the ice. Ellen Maye desperately clawed at the ice, and just before she could scream the creature wrapped its body around her, covering her from head to toe. She could hear the splash and a voice saying, “I’ve been waiting to take you home.” She tried to see where the creature was taking her but the blinding shimmer of its blue skin forced her to keep her eyes closed.
            The opening of the interrogation room door brought Ellen Maye back to the present time.
            “Miss Ellen Maye Stunner, you are free to go.”
            She shook the officer’s hand gently and looked at him, revealing the soft blue eye color he once saw.
            “I look forward to seeing you again,” Ellen Maye smiled as she spoke.
            “Yes,” the officer said, “I will be watching you.”
            That night Ellen Maye returned to Le Galion beach. She sat on a large rock digging her toes deeply into the sand and she waited patiently. The officer approached her slowly.
            “I knew you would come looking for me. It’s time to go home,” she said. They stared at the stars as it reflected on the ocean. The officer sat beside her in a daze. He turned to ask Ellen Maye why she was in Saint Maarten, but with surprise she transformed into a glittering creature. He struggled to get to his feet but she draped her wide parachute-like body over him. She swam out to the deep of the ocean and then and then two of them submerged into the sea.
            Ellen Maye held the officer tight and swiftly into a tunnel that led them to a gleaming cave. They were met at the entrance by more glimmering creatures who guarded a pearl door.
            “We have been waiting for you Ellen Maye,” the other creatures said, “It seems you brought back too many this time. We sent you for only one.”
            Ellen Maye knew she broke the rules, yet again.
            “Osiah is waiting for you. We will take the officer.”
            Ellen Maye slowly walked to Osiah’s dwelling, thinking of how she could get to keep the six tourists and the officer.  
            “Come in Ellen Maye.” She was always mesmerized by the heavenly accents of pearls and shimmering diamonds that decorated Osiah’s dwelling.
            “Osiah, I…I…” Ellen Maye stuttered.
            “Be calm,” said Osiah gently stroked her hand.
            “You have brought back too many.”
            “I know, but they were all in such pain.” Ellen Maye pleaded her case.
            “But, it was not their time. They still had so much life to experience.”
            “I could sense the hurt they felt,” she tried again.
            Osiah grew frustrated and raised his voice,
            “Ellen Maye, you do not rule. I sent you for the officer and you returned with             him and six others.”
            She buried her head in her chest, awaiting punishment. Osiah continued,             “You have no more chances. You cannot come back home.”
            “Where will I go?” Ellen Maye was confused.
             Osiah did not respond. The dwelling started to shake and blinding lights began to flicker. Ellen Maye closed her eyes for relief until the shimmering stopped. When she opened her eyes again, she was standing alone in a cold, damp cave. There were no heavenly shimmers or glistening diamonds. She searched for the tunnel, but the cave directed her in everlasting circles.




36For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? (Mark 8:36)

Who's More Beautiful Than You (May 2012)



Black Out


The car must have been hitting 110 degrees. Beads of sweat formed across my entire forehead and dripped down my cheeks.  The seats glistened as the oils from my legs rubbed into the leather.
 “Hey Halia, so how many boyfriends do you have now? Is it more than the zero you had yesterday.” Troy belted out an obnoxious laugh. I rolled my eyes, trying to think of a smart response.
“Hey Troy, is there a reason why the armpits on your shirt is crusty yellow.” I decided to go with a low blow. Go hard or go home, right?
            Troy was my only boyfriend in high school; We dated for about three weeks. We were friends and one day we decided that we should go to the movies. I must have thought that the friendship part of our relationship would make us inseparable until he started making stupid statements about my hair looking like dirty cotton balls and my skin looking like a chocolate dipped sculpture.
            “Hey, hey love birds, why don’t you cut out the bickering back there? I’m trying to drive.” Martin yelled from the driver’s seat.  
            “Ha, Halia wishes a stud like me wanted a dud like her.” Troy boasted.
            “Martin, when are we going to get there,” Martin’s Venezuelan sweetheart, Brittney, whined.
            “I had enough! Can we pull over at a rest stop? You’re yelling, Troy’s annoying, and Brittney won’t stop whining. I need a break,” I said.
            “We’re actually only 10 miles away from the beach and I'm not stopping,” Martin replied.
            I was starting to regret this beach trip. I figured, we’re seniors and graduating high school, this could be the last summer we get together. It sounded like a sweet idea, taking a trip for the last hoorah, but within the first fifteen minutes of the drive the sweet idea turned into a headache.
            “Halia, wake up. We’re here.” Martin yelled. I didn’t know when I drifted off to sleep, but we must have been at the beach for a while because Brittney was already strutting her size 4 body around in her almost nonexistent bikini. I spotted a restroom across the way so I went to change into my brother’s basketball shorts and a white tank top. On way back to the spot where our beach towels were laid out, I could see Troy tumbling over laughing and pointing at me. I kept a straight face, but I wondered why he was laughing. I did a mental check; my sports bra wasn’t see through, my hair was cornrowed neatly, and I was too far for him to see my feet. When I got closer, I shook my head disgusted by Troy’s immaturity.
“What are you laughing at,” I asked him.
“Where’s you’re bathing suit, smoky,” Troy giggled.
I drabbed my T-shirt from my backpack and put it on. Before lying on the beach towel, I kicked Troy in his back. He screamed and tried to throw sand at me, but Martin playfully dived on him, distracting him. After Troy and Martin were done rolling around in the scorching hot sand, Troy started unpacking his backpack: five bottles of hand sanitizer, iodized salt, and three bottles of water.
            “Troy, what on earth did you buy all of that for?” Brittney asked.
            “Wait ‘til you see this.” Troy began mixing the ingredients together.   
            “While Troy does what ever he’s doing. I have a surprise.” Martin said with a devilish smile.
            “Look what I found,” Martin shook a bottle of Oxycodone.
            “SWEET” Brittney jumped.
            “Are you guys insane?” I asked looking at my friends horrified.
            “Fine. I’ll have three, Martin.” Brittney opened her hand and poured three pills from the bottle. Martin smiled at his girlfriend and joined her.
            “Okay troops, who wants to try it,” Troy asked with a silly smirk as he held up his concoction.  We looked at Troy’s drink and then looked around at each other. Brittney grinned, Martin seemed curious, but I was scared.
            “Have you not been watching the news? California kids do it.” Troy said.
            “I’ll try it, if you try it too,” Brittney told Troy. Martin and I watched as Troy and Brittney took the first shot of the day. They all laughed and refilled their cups. This time Martin begged me to join.
            “I need some water before I do that again.” Brittney choked.
            “Okay, troops, to four years of friendship.” Troy made a toast and we took another shot. Before we were done swallowing the second drink, Brittney was pouring another drink.
            “One, two, three and one for me,” Brittney said as she filled her cup.
            “Okay guys, this is my last one I haven’t eaten all day,” I tried to reason with my friends.
            “Loosen up,” Troy teased, “That’s why no one likes you. Oh no, I forgot that’s not it. No one likes you because you look like my poop after I’ve eaten a vegetable dinner.” Troy screeched out a loud laugh. Brittney fell to the hot sand laughing until tears began to fall. To calm everyone down, Martin suggested they go for a swim. I wasn't up for their jokes anymore so I stayed behind to nap. I spotted Martin’s bottle of Oxycodone and took 5 pills then drowned them down with another shot of Troy’s concoction. I laid on the towel and watched the blue sky turn orange and purple.
            “Ahhhh, Ahh, Ahh,” I could her myself scream, but I didn’t know why I was screaming. I lost control. I couldn’t stop screaming.
            “Halia, Halia.” I heard Brittney shout. Martin screamed, “Come back”. I wasn’t sure I new where he wanted me to come back from.
            “Ahhh, don’t touch me. Don’t touch me you…you monster.” I slurred my words and looked at Brittney with an unfamiliar gaze then giggled like crusty the clown. Brittney tried to give me some water, but I started fighting her.
            “Get away, Get away.” I saw blurring images approaching me, waving their hands and trying to touch me.
            “Stop! Get away from me.” I began to scream, fighting my way through the crowd that formed around us. I felt so hot; I was suffocating.  I ran toward the water just to cool down. Troy and Martin were running behind me. I tossed my body into the shallow sea. I scraped my arms on a few rocks. The waves splashed into my face. I tried to swim, but my body felt heavy. The water kept rushing into my face. When I opened my eyes, I saw the orange and purple sky, water flooded into my mouth. I could hear myself cough as more water filled my mouth. Martin grabbed my arms and Troy tried to wrap his arms around my waist. But the rocks and crashes from the waves made if difficult for Troy to balance himself. Finally, I closed my eyes and blacked out, hoping to stop spinning. I could hear screaming and water crashing.
Brittney hollered, “Martin drag her out. Drag her out Martin.”
A recreational day at sea had turned into a fight for continued existence.
            “Someone help,” Brittney pleaded. Brittney’s eyes widened when she noticed something fast approaching in the distance. The EMT cleared the area and began doing CPR. He tried again and again and again. One more time and then finally he looked up into the blue sky. Searching for the words and said.
            “Sorry, she’s gone.”
           


           



http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/health/mdmama/2012/05/drinking_hand_sanitizer_why_the_behavior_of_adolescents_actually_makes_sense.html



http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/04/teens-getting-drunk-on-hand-sanitizer/

2 comments:

  1. Saving Our Souls is a well written story about passage and how not to be deceived by pain. Thank you R.B. Minors

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  2. Brotherhood defines love, hate, joy, and pain with skillful details in mere voice alone. Amazing work!

    ReplyDelete

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